Today I got up at 5:30 and went up to the high school track to walk! I'm all happy with myself, which is a wonderful feeling. I gave myself a pep talk when I got there and I got it done, and now I'm sitting here eating an apple feeling like an actual female, my thigh muscles twinging and warm, memories of feeling like a fat blob in my rear view mirror. I know I'll get there again, I'm not quite that much of an optimist, but I know that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
I went to the doctor yesterday and my pulse and blood pressure were great and I broke a barrier... I'm finally below 250! I weighed 248 :D I was giddy when I saw that! We even checked it on both scales, just to be sure, and when I checked it at Curves it measured a pound less. Last week I got measured at Curves, here are my measurements.
When I got measured it took me a minute to get things into perspective, because I was so sure that I'd be under 250. I stood there looking at the paper, running things through my mind, noting that some of the numbers were smaller, and I realized that those numbers don't define me as a person. Sure, I want them smaller, hell, I want them MUCH smaller! But what's the point of whining and bingeing and defeating myself just because they're not what I want them to be? There isn't one, and when I'm craving something fattening I cling to that fact pretty tightly.
This morning I walked 10 laps, which is 2.5 miles. Here's what I did.
I'm trying to be very careful with my joints, because logic says that running at this weight puts quite a strain on them, which I don't want to do.
I'm really trying to love myself more. When I eat I'm conscious of how much I'm eating and I'm asking myself if I'm really hungry, which has reduced my food intake by more than I would have thought possible. I'm not starving myself, I'm just eating reasonable portions. For example, my treat is dark chocolate covered almonds, I love them! I used to eat ten or twelve at a time, if I was even counting, and now I eat 6, and even 4 last night. I'm stopping when I've had a taste instead of filling up and it feels really good!
I also know myself, and I'm a very cyclical creature. I cycle with the seasons, with my period, I'm just wired that way, so I'm going to really try to come back and read posts like this when I'm a low point.
I hope everyone is finding success and loving themselves! Your comments are wonderful and make me feel like I'm not alone.
I went to the doctor yesterday and my pulse and blood pressure were great and I broke a barrier... I'm finally below 250! I weighed 248 :D I was giddy when I saw that! We even checked it on both scales, just to be sure, and when I checked it at Curves it measured a pound less. Last week I got measured at Curves, here are my measurements.
| Date | 7/29/09 |
| Pre-Workout Heart Rate | N/A |
| Blood Pressure | N/A |
| Bust | 45.5 |
| Waist | 43.75 |
| Abdomen | 51 |
| Hips | 54 |
| Thighs | 26 |
| Arms | 14 |
| Weight | 254 |
| Body Fat | 45.5% |
| BMI | 42.3 |
When I got measured it took me a minute to get things into perspective, because I was so sure that I'd be under 250. I stood there looking at the paper, running things through my mind, noting that some of the numbers were smaller, and I realized that those numbers don't define me as a person. Sure, I want them smaller, hell, I want them MUCH smaller! But what's the point of whining and bingeing and defeating myself just because they're not what I want them to be? There isn't one, and when I'm craving something fattening I cling to that fact pretty tightly.
This morning I walked 10 laps, which is 2.5 miles. Here's what I did.
| Date | 8/4/09 |
| Lap 1 | warm-up |
| Lap 2 | ran straights, walked curves |
| Lap 3 | ran straights, walked curves |
| Lap 4 | ran straights, walked curves |
| Lap 5 | ran straights, walked curves |
| Lap 6 | fast-walked straights, walked curves |
| Lap 7 | fast-walked 1 straight & curve, walked 1 straight & curve |
| Lap 8 | fast-walked 1 straight & curve, walked 1 straight & curve |
| Lap 9 | fast-walked |
| Lap 10 | cool down |
I'm trying to be very careful with my joints, because logic says that running at this weight puts quite a strain on them, which I don't want to do.
I'm really trying to love myself more. When I eat I'm conscious of how much I'm eating and I'm asking myself if I'm really hungry, which has reduced my food intake by more than I would have thought possible. I'm not starving myself, I'm just eating reasonable portions. For example, my treat is dark chocolate covered almonds, I love them! I used to eat ten or twelve at a time, if I was even counting, and now I eat 6, and even 4 last night. I'm stopping when I've had a taste instead of filling up and it feels really good!
I also know myself, and I'm a very cyclical creature. I cycle with the seasons, with my period, I'm just wired that way, so I'm going to really try to come back and read posts like this when I'm a low point.
I hope everyone is finding success and loving themselves! Your comments are wonderful and make me feel like I'm not alone.
I am so glad to see you back blogging. I've been checking back since I first came across your blog the end of June. I was hoping things were going better for you... and it looks like they are!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on all your successes. You're doing great! I used to be a walker and doing the treadmill for my workouts. I tried to kick it up last summer by doing the same thing you are...walking and running at the high school track. I really enjoyed it, but found that my knees couldn't take the running. I have arthritis and it really killed me, so I stopped. I'm envious of you doing this and I think I may try it again.
Keep up the great work!! Come back and blog often!!
Take care,
Diana
Thank you so much for the encouragement! I wish that I could find a pool where I could do water aerobics, but living in such a rural area has its drawbacks. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do this winter when it's difficult or impossible to walk and I have stabs of panic about that occasionally, but I'm not giving it power over me.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend *hug*